Before I mislead everyone to thinking that I have miraculously conceived a baby given the setup my husband and I are currently in, allow me to introduce you to Ailee of Snapshots & My Thoughts who will take over SCATTERBRAIN today.
To tell you frankly, I don't remember how I stumbled upon Ailee's blog, but I'm guessing it's either her city travel guides or her decor inspirations that brought me to her site. Either way, I'm glad I did because we've established an online friendship by being faithful readers of each other's blogs.
Ailee is one of those I know who really takes time in reading whatever I write on the blog, and she leaves thoughtful comments that I truly appreciate.Like Shayne and KP, I had no restrictions whatsoever on what Ailee would like to share with us here. Given that she's a first-time mom, Ailee and I thought that an entry on motherhood is in order. (WARNING: Brace yourselves for Ailee's heartfelt take on being a mother to their first-born, Little Miss Isla.)
The Petrovics: Sasha, Ailee, and their newborn, Isla Milijana
I had heard it a million times—having a baby changes everything, but it wasn’t until June 4, 2014 that I really understood what that meant. When Isla came into this world at 6:30pm, I literally had no words. Sasha, my husband, and I just cried and cried and cried. How in the world was it possible to love a little human I had only met minutes ago so much? My heart was literally bursting. I understood in that moment that my life would never be the same (side note: I’m crying as I write this—your hormones will never be the same either).
The first few days in the hospital flew by. I was stressed beyond belief—“Is someone really going to let me walk out of this place with this baby? Am I even qualified to do that?” I thought to myself.
Everything felt very real when we arrived home. After 40 weeks of talking about her and praying for her health, she was a part of the family. The first very noticeable difference in our (once very normal) lives was the lack of sleep. Newborns typically eat every three hours, and Isla would feed for about 45 minutes. They are quite unaware, unfortunately, of the difference between night and day, so at 2am, 5am, 8am, 1pm, 4 pm, 7pm, and 11pm, I would be feeding her. Exhaustion is an understatement. But somehow (and I’m really not sure how) you get by. You just do. Your little baby is worth the bags under the eyes and the dysfunctional brain.
While sleep improves as they learn that bath-feed-book means “Please go to sleep for as long as possible,” managing your life around a three hour feeding and nap schedule does not. While I once had no time constraints on a Saturday besides meeting up with friends at a set time, I now have to calculate her eating and sleeping times to decide if I can run to the grocery store or the gym. I used to be able to sit down, reply to emails and blog at any time I wanted. I’m now restricted to 30 minute windows of her napping, and things like cleaning the dishes, doing laundry, eating meals, picking up the house, etc. definitely take precedence. Sleeping and blogging were not the only items that dropped on my priority list. Almost all superficial things you thought were important get turned upside down. Sasha and I love going to new restaurants and adventuring around the city; now, we will do this if we can find a babysitter or if it fits into Isla’s schedule. We used to go out on Friday nights, now we’re quite content with staying in and watching a movie together. Having a baby should not control your life, as it’s important to keep your marriage as your center point, but it will make you re-prioritize everything. Somehow you make it work. You just do. Your little baby is worth the delayed email responses and quiet nights at home.
One of the most apparent ways that a baby changes everything is the physical changes that take place to your body while pregnant and post-delivery too! My bump didn’t really start to show for awhile, but when it did, all I wanted to do was lay down. Sitting in my desk chair at the office was unthinkably uncomfortable, and I used to go into empty offices to recline the chair and just relax (woops, not all that often!). While a lot of women embrace the changes physically during pregnancy, I did not. I loved that little unborn baby so much, but I didn’t like the expansion of my body. I am very active and run 3 miles four days a week, but experienced round ligament pain (shooting pain from your inner thigh/groin muscle) early on in my pregnancy and had to stop running. I continued spin class until the week before Isla was born, but it just wasn’t the same. I reminded myself that I would be back in the gym as soon as she was born and it wouldn’t matter. Boy, was I wrong. Getting yourself to the gym when you have a newborn is next to impossible (as well as not allowed until 6 weeks postpartum). As I already mentioned, they take up almost all of your time, so even going out on a run took a lot of planning and coordination with Sasha. Given the lack of sleep, exercise quickly dropped in importance, and getting back to my pre-baby size took a hit as well. I’m still a few pounds away (those last are the toughest), and while I’m not in love with how I look now, somehow it doesn’t matter as much. It just doesn’t. Your little baby’s health and happiness is absolutely worth those extra four pounds and untoned legs.
Little Miss Isla and her contagious smiling face
The last, but certainly not least, thing to change is my goals and aspirations. I want to be the best role model in the world to Isla. I want her to look up to me in all aspects of my life. I want to be kind to others, so that she is known as gentle hearted. I want to work hard, so that she does the same in school. I want to love God and worship Him in all I do, so that she grows up strong in her faith as well. I want to be honest and open, so that she will trust me with her secrets. I want to be her best friend—not by acting like a 15 year old, but by being so close with her she always wants to spend time with me. I want to watch the language that I use, so she will not curse either. I want to monitor the use of technology (especially the cell phone), so that she will love and respect face-to-face interactions. Your constant monitoring of your actions can be exhausting, but somehow you manage to do it. You just do. Your child’s future is more than worth it.
Being a parent forces you to become selfless. It makes you become a role model. Being a mom or a dad increases your responsibility and accountability. It will make you exhausted, but it will make you feel so full of joy. Being a parent literally changes everything. There is no going back, and I am so appreciative for that fact. Because I have never been more happy.
If this post didn't make your heart swell, I don't know what will. To read more about Ailee's beautiful family, follow along at:
Snapshots & My Thoughts